Unless you come of the traveller stock
That breaks the planning laws,
By building homes on greenbelt land:
Nay! Never on our shores!
Come one, come all, on verdant fields
– Where once the rabbits ran from foxes –
The trailer-homes of suburban folk
And double-glazed with window boxes!
No, these are not the Gypsy folk
But the backbone of red, white and blue,
But it isn’t right that the Gorgio stock
Should live as the Romany do.
Gorgios now invade the fields,
Could anything be more offensive?
But the money-men made gorgios’ homes
What they all said was too expensive.
Alack! What nightmare happening is this?
The post-Modern Traveller comes to pass,
With a trailer-home with pebble-dash
And a conservatory-end just made of glass?
No SUV to tow this home,
When an ‘M’ reg Skoda will surely do?
For it isn’t natural that the Gorgio blood
Should drive as the Romany do.
Unless you carry the traveller genes
You will never understand
The need for them to invade the fields
And set up home on greenbelt land.
And now we Gorgios do the same,
Uproot our kids and garden gnomes,
The trampoline and the porta-loo,
To embellish our terraced trailer-homes.
Compost bins and barbecues
And wheelie-bins for the rubbish too
For it isn’t fitting that the Gorgios
Should do the same as the Romany do.
If come you not of the Gypsy race
Think not of this as rank sedition,
For the caravan and an empty field
Will make you richer than rendition
To the urban sprawl you left behind,
Say Surbiton or Tooting Bec –
A year in your terraced trailer home
And you’ll be saying “What the heck!
At least the bills are left behind,
The mother-in-law and the tax man too!”
So there could be reason for the Gorgio race
To live their lives as the Romany do!
(With apologies to Rudyard Kipling)
n.b. Gorgio is the Romany word for a non-Gypsy in Britain
© 2011 – Henry Page, Newhaven, East Sussex